Annoying, Hilarious, and Down Right Weird Emails
by QueenTigris
Summary: First chapter is a little peek into Artemis's inbox and second chapter is the chat room! I think I'll start the next chapter real soon! Enjoy everybody! And don't forget to review! Because I do so LOVE reviews!
1. Artemis's Inbox

A/N: These are getting popular lately. And I have to say they are pretty funny. Since stories have to have a plot I'll just have Artemis and what he thinks of all the mail he is getting. Hehehehehe... Onward with the story!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl and co. nor do I own America Online, or any of that stuff.  
  
Annoying, Hilarious, and Down Right Weird E-mails  
  
Artemis flicked the switch to his computer, it made a few little noises as the monitor lit up with the picture of his desktop, complete with a wallpaper of Butler with ice cream all over his face. He had had to keep that photo, there were only a few times when you could get a picture like that of Butler.  
  
Artemis double clicked the America Online icon on his screen. Once he was logged on the mail box at the bottom of the screen was blinking. He clicked it and proceeded to read his mail.  
  
Artemis's inbox:  
  
To: Artemis (devious_thievious_Artemus@i_steal_fairy_gold.net) From: Holly (firstfemalelepofficer@hotmail.com) Subject: Ha! I know your e-mail address!  
  
Hi, Arty!  
  
Hehehehee... Now I can e-mail you all I want because Foaly told me your e-mail address! Muwahahahahaahahaha! By the way, "i_steal_fairy_gold.net"? Was that site made just for you? Hahahahahahaha!  
  
~Holly~  
  
Artemis's reaction: Artemis frowned, he knew he shouldn't have told Foaly his e-mail address. Maybe if he ignored her she would go away.  
  
Next E-mail:  
  
To: Artemis (devious_thievious_Artemus@i_steal_fairy_gold.net) From: Butler (the_big_guy_with_no_first_name@aol.com) Subject: Beware  
  
Master Artemis,  
  
I have heard a bit of something of a prank that Juliet intends to play on you. She plans to sew a couple of your boxers, particularly those ones that say things like "Why are you looking at my butt?" and "I would rather be in the spa right now" and other things. She plans to sew them into a flag and run them up the High School flag pole and gather everyone around to sing "Oh, Artemis" a song she made up her self. I only heard snatches of it but this is what I heard:  
  
"Oh, Artemis,  
  
Who eats caviar,  
  
Oh, how icky you are!  
  
We don't like you,  
  
Nor your underwear,  
  
We just don't care-!  
  
Oh, Artemis! Oh, Artemis!  
  
Do please go away,  
  
You are so sickening,  
  
So stop your bickering,  
  
And pack off to college!"  
  
It went something like that. I advise you keep your boxers in a safe place for the time being.  
  
~Butler~  
  
Artemis's response:  
  
To: Butler (the_big_guy_with_no_first_name@aol.com) From: Artemis (devious_thievious_Artemus@i_steal_fairy_gold.net) Subject: Re: Beware  
  
Thank-you, Butler. I will keep in mind that Juliet plans to steal my underwear. When will she come up with a new idea? The run-the-underwear-up-the-flag-pole thing is ancient. The song was sort of cute though, despite the fact that it was rather rude. But what am I talking about? I invented rudness, I can definitely come up with a better idea than that.  
  
~Artemis~  
  
Next E-mail:  
  
To: Artemis (devious_thievious_Artemus@i_steal_fairy_gold.net) From: Commander Root (beetroot@lep.org) Subject: Virus  
  
Fowl,  
  
Were you the one that sent that computer virus to me that messed my computer all up? I am lucky that I have Foaly to help me! You could have ruined it! Do you know how much fairy computers cost? They cost a fortune! If you ever do that again I will send an entire LEP squad to burn your little mansion down! Don't think I can't, cause I can!  
  
~Commander~  
  
Artemis's reaction: Artemis grinned, yeah, he had sent that virus. But why should he take the blame when there was someone else to lay it on?  
  
Artemis's response:  
  
To: Commander Root (beetroot@lep.org) From: Artemis (devious_thievious_Artemus@i_steal_fairy_gold.net) Subject: Virus?  
  
Commander,  
  
I think you have the wrong person. I don't know anything about any virus that could have been sent to you. And come to think of it, I have had virus problems lately myself. My beliefs are that a person with fairy technology is behind this, otherwise the virus would have been inihilated immediately by my security system. And I have an inkling to who it might be, it starts with an "F", and ends with "oaly".  
  
~Artemis~  
  
What Artemis did next: Artemis grinned evilly once he had clicked the send button. He had had no "virus problems" actually, it was only a lie to make it seem more like it was Foaly who was behind it. Then Artemis opened the next mail.  
  
To: Artemis (devious_thievious_Artemus@i_steal_fairy_gold.net) From: Foaly (i_am_smarter_than_you@foalytechnologyrocks.net) Subject: Re: Re: Re: Questionaire  
  
Can you handle a few little questions, Fowl? Just erase the answers I put in and put your own answer.  
  
Your name as it appears on your birth certificate: Foaly  
  
Nicknames: The Nerd, The Annoying Paranoid Centaur, Bald Butt... I've heard'em all...  
  
Number of candles on your last birthday cake: shoot... I lost track  
  
Time you usually blow them out: Around Spring, don't you people know that Spring is when all centaurs are born? Duh!  
  
Height: 7' 8''  
  
Eye color: brown  
  
Hair color: red  
  
Piercings: er... I once had my nose pierced... but I decided to get rid of it...  
  
Tattoos: erm... I would rather not go there...  
  
How much do you love your job: A LOT!!!! Where else am I allowed to show off my obviously superior intellect and tease everyone to the extent that they have to take a time off because their blood pressure is too high.... Hehehehe... (I am talking about Root)  
  
Birthplace: Somewhere in the wilderness of Ireland...  
  
Current residence: Haven  
  
Favorite place lived: Honolulu was nice... (I decided to take a very, very long vacation once when Root got really, really mad at me because a certain prank of mine...)  
  
Been to Europe: Duh, I live in Europe.  
  
Been in love before: What would I do with out my beautiful computer?  
  
Been to Africa: No... But maybe I should consider that my next hideout when Root gets mad at me for whatever ingenious prank I come up with in the future...  
  
Been toilet-papering: No, wanted to though... Maybe that is what I should do to Root next...  
  
Been toilet-papered: Several times actually...  
  
Been in a car accident: Actually, I've never been in a car, my behind doesn't quite fit.  
  
2 door or 4 (on a car): Why would I care? I can't even fit in one door!  
  
Cookies or muffins: Hmm... Hard choice...  
  
Coffee or Tea: Tea  
  
Favorite movie: "Welcome to the LEP" I made it myself, which is why it is my favorite.  
  
Favorite holiday: April Fool's Day, always the best day to play a prank...  
  
Favorite food: Carrots!  
  
Favorite day of the week: Monday, always feels good to come into the office and say hello to my dear computer...  
  
Favorite TV show: News, I guess, it is all I watch anyway.  
  
Favorite outdoor activity: I don't do outdoors...  
  
Favorite indoor activity: Inventing cool stuff... Hehehehehe...  
  
Favorite restaurant: Carrot Cake Deli, their cake is DELISHIOUS!!!!  
  
Favorite flower: I haven't been outside for a while...  
  
Favorite sport: Annoying people, it can be very exasting sometimes...  
  
Favorite ice cream: Carrot flavor!!!  
  
Favorite Sesame Street character: What is Sesame Street?  
  
Favorite fast food restaurant: Carrot King, their carrot burgers are fantastic!  
  
When was your last hospital visit: A few weeks ago... Holly *accidentally* threw her Nuetrino at my head...  
  
Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Carrot Juice!  
  
What color is your bedroom carpet: white, with splotchs of several different colors- those are chemical spills  
  
Have you ever been arrested: Yeah, but I was young and really, really hungry!  
  
Have you ever been convicted of crime: I stole a carrot cake from Carrot Cake Deli...  
  
Which store would you most like to max out your credit card on: A life time supply of carrots would be nice...  
  
What do you do most often when you are bored: Send annoyingly long e-mails.  
  
Most annoying thing is: Opal Koboi, can't stand her...  
  
Who will most likely respond to this the fastest: Artemis, he is the only one I sent this to.  
  
Who is least likely to respond to this: Artemis, he hardly ever answers anything  
  
Which of the people you are sending this to have you known the longest: I only sent it to one person  
  
Do you want this to be over: I haven't got anything else to do...  
  
Okay, that is the last of it! Now lets see what you come up with, Fowl!  
  
~Foaly~  
  
Artemis's response:  
  
To: Foaly (i_am_smarter_than_you@foalytechnologyrocks.net), Holly (firstfemalelepofficer@hotmail.com), Butler (the_big_guy_with_no_first_name@aol.com) From: Artemis (devious_thievious_Artemus@i_steal_fairy_gold.net) Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Questionaire  
  
Okay, I don't have many other things to so here are my answers:  
  
Your name as it appears on your birth certificate: Artemis we- can-skip-that-middle-name Fowl Jr.  
  
Nicknames: Arty. Don't you dare call me that!!!!  
  
Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 14, soon to be 15  
  
Time you usually blow them out: December 17  
  
Height: 5' 4''  
  
Eye color: Blue  
  
Hair color: Black  
  
Piercings: No way!  
  
Tattoos: Erm... I had a dragon tattooed to my back a month ago... Don't tell Butler!  
  
How much do you love your job: Job? What Job? I'm under age!  
  
Birthplace: Sisters of Mercy hospital, Dublin, Ireland  
  
Current residence: Fowl Manor  
  
Favorite place lived: Why would I want to live anywhere else than Fowl Manor?  
  
Been to Europe: I live in Europe...  
  
Been in love before: I'm only 14!!!  
  
Been to Africa: Actually, I have. Once on a business trip with my father, and once to Cairo with Butler while I was still searching for the Book of the People.  
  
Been toilet-papering: No, I refuse to stoop to such a low level.  
  
Been toilet-papered: Never, what child in their right mind would try to toilet paper my house with Butler around?  
  
Been in a car accident: Once, our chauffeur was drunk, which is why only Butler drives me now.  
  
2 door or 4 (on a car): 4, it is much easier to get out  
  
Cookies or muffins: Muffins, unless it is Juliet's triple chocolate cookies *drooling*  
  
Coffee or Tea: Tea, ever since a certain incident when I had a *little* too much caffeine I haven't been allowed to drink coffee unless it is decaffeinated.  
  
Favorite movie: I very much enjoyed the Star Wars movies  
  
Favorite holiday: Don't have one, I sort of consider vacation week a holiday though, that is when I go on a nice, expenive vacation with my family.  
  
Favorite food: Caviar, can't have enough of it  
  
Favorite day of the week: Saturday, I get to stay home all the time on that day so I can work on my computer.  
  
Favorite TV show: News, never watch anything else  
  
Favorite outdoor activity: I don't go outdoors that often...  
  
Favorite indoor activity: surfing the net and hacking into high-security computer networks  
  
Favorite restaurant: Burger King, they have very good burgers, you should try their fries too.  
  
Favorite flower: morning glories  
  
Favorite sport: I don't do sports...  
  
Favorite ice cream: Mint chocolate chip, can't resist it...  
  
Favorite Sesame Street character: Er... I don't watch that show anymore... I did kind of like Big Bird though  
  
Favorite fast food restaurant: Burger King, I have taking a liking to fast food lately...  
  
When was your last hospital visit: A few months ago, Juliet decided to practice her Pile Driver on me...  
  
Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Coffee, I'm not allowed to drink it though...  
  
What color is your bedroom carpet: Don't have one, it is all wood  
  
Have you ever been arrested: No  
  
Have you ever been convicted of crime: Well, let's see... I kidnapped a fairy, used her for ransom, among other things I need not mention...  
  
Which store would you most like to max out your credit card on: Gateway or some other computer store.  
  
What do you do most often when you are bored: Sleep usually...  
  
Most annoying thing is: Foaly, Juliet, a few people at my school, can't make a choice...  
  
Who will most likely respond to this the fastest: Holly, Foaly already did it.  
  
Who is least likely to respond to this: Butler, his fingers are a little to big for the keys, and I doubt he would like to let us know certain information about him... I am interested in finding out what his real first name is though.  
  
Which of the people you are sending this to have you known the longest: I've known Butler my entire life  
  
Do you want this to be over: Yes.  
  
Okay, there are my answers Foaly.  
  
~Artemis~  
  
~*~ Artemis signed off and went off in search of something to eat.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: All done! Hope you like this, if you do then there might be a second chapter! 


	2. The Chat Room

A/N: Whoaaaa.... I got a TON of reviews, and it was only one chapter! Sorry, everybody, I won't be able to reply to everybody that would take FOREVER, so I am going to choose a couple of people who asked questions or something like that. Oh, and this chapter I decided to make a chat room thing, and maybe the next chapter will be a talk show or something... I don't know, I'll try to experiment all of the ideas!  
  
Replies to reviewers:  
  
Lil' MIss Critical: 1)Actually, I did that on purpose, Artemis was supposed to make that mistake of sending the questionnaire to Butler for the purposes of this chapter. 2)And "Artemis's" can be spelled that way or as "Artemis'" there are two rules I go by the ''s' one. 3)Of course he CAN drool right? Everybody can, so he can let himself go every once in a while for the purposes of a Humor FanFiction. 4)Says who? They never said so in the books! 5)Of course, he could do other things, besides, he implied he might give a little break from such things at the end of the second book 6)Oh really? Well, Lil' MIss Critical, I think you are too opinionated. 7)Excuse me? You are supposed to insult ME in a flame, not my reviewers. And I say everybody is entitled to their preferences, my story for instance.  
  
Thundermage: Well, of course they were answers you wouldn't have thought of! I try to be original. Thanx for the review!  
  
Amrun: A very good question! I'm glad you asked that. Actually, Artemis spelled it that way on purpose, so it would rhyme with 'devious' and 'thievious'.  
  
mysterious-angel: That is the question that we all are wondering about...  
  
ChocolateEclar: uhh... you just sent me three of the exact same reviews! How did you do that? From what I know you can only send one signed review to each chapter.  
  
Annoying, Hilarious, and Down Right Weird E-mails  
  
Chapter 2: The Chat Room  
  
Artemis swaggered into his bedroom, having just accomplished a very difficult task. The task of getting funny and embarrassing pictures of Butler. He had gotten bored with the ice cream one, and this one was so much funnier. He booted up the computer and hooked the camera up to the computer. He loaded the picture onto the hard drive and set it up as a wallpaper. Violá, a beautiful picture of Butler in a bunny suit. Artemis chuckled, that had been a difficult one to get. It was hard to find something to blackmail Butler about that could drive him to that extent.  
  
Artemis double clicked the internet icon and typed in his 30 character password. (A/N: my friend really does have a thirty letter long password you know) Once he was on a little window appeared on his screen:  
  
You are invited to Chat Room #2349649578692746377273  
  
From: firstfemalelepofficer@hotmail.com  
  
Artemis pressed the 'Join' button.  
  
**firstfemalelepofficer has entered chat**  
  
**devious_thievious_Artemus has entered chat**  
  
**i_am_smarter_than_you has entered chat**  
  
**beetroot has entered chat**  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: Hi, guys!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: Hello, everybody!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: ciao  
  
beetroot: oh great! It's the Mud Boy!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Yes, it is I, the Mud Boy! Muahahahaha!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: You call that an evil laugh? I can top that!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Oh really?  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: Yeah really!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: guys! stop it!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: No  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: whoa, he's good...  
  
**the_big_guy_with_no_first_name has entered chat**  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: What you just did wasn't funny Artemis  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Yes it was  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: and you know I'm always right  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: what did Arty do???  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: Yeah! What did he do??? What did he do???  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: hehehehehe....  
  
beetroot: Alright, Mud Boy, spill it  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: hmmmm... what will you give for it??  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Nooo! Don't tell them!!! I won't allow it!!!  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: And that is AN ORDER!!! As the adult I refuse you the privilege of telling them about that picture!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: Ooooohhh... It must be REALLY good if Butler reacts that way...  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: Yeah...  
  
beetroot: Mud Boy! Tell us!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Sorry guys, Butler gave me an order, I can't tell you...  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: shoot...  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: wait a sec, Butler has power over YOU????  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: no, actually, he doesn't, but I will be curtious and won't tell you about the embarrassing picture I took of him  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: Oooh! it was embarrassing?  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: Can't you tell us??? Please??  
  
beetroot: C'mon! Tell us!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: no, I won't tell you...  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Thank you Artemis  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Instead, all of you can see for yourselves.  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: 0_0 NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Artemis clicked on the e-mail icon and copied a picture of Butler in a pink bunny suit into the box and sent it to Holly, Foaly, and Commander Root.  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: NIIIIEEEEEEGH!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
beetroot: GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: *laughs evilly*  
  
beetroot: Hehehehehe... you know, the Mud Boy really is useful for something  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *desperate gasp for air* Help me!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I can't breathe!! *gasp* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! can't... stop... laughing!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I am definitely keeping this!  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Nooooo!!!! get rid of it!!! burn it!!!  
  
beetroot: no way, Mud Man, this is going amongst my favorites  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Oh yes!! this is such payback for Butler nailing me about the dragon tattoo!  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: You deserved it!! You KNOW that you aren't allowed to have tattoos!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: :p  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: besides, you are the one who sent me that questionnaire with that information on it!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: oh yeah... oopsie...  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* That was REALLY funny... hehehehehe... you know what, I'm going to send that picture to the news channel, so they can do a little documentary on the Fowls and what they do in their free time! Then everybody can see the picture!!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Yes!!! do that!!  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: I'll have to tape that. hehehehe...  
  
beetroot: the news is not for documentaries on Artemis Fowl and his bodyguard's weird habits, the news is for NEWS  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Wait! Artemis blackmailed me into wearing it!  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: you are such a party pooper Commander, and I bet the news channel people will LOVE to have new information on the Fowls  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: really? Artemis blackmailed his own bodyguard? The news channel will have a ball with this story!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: yes, I did blackmail Butler actually  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: what about? What did you blackmail him with?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: *evil grin*  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: NOOO!!!!! Don't tell them!!!!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: well in that case... I told him if he didn't wear the bunny suit then I would tell daddy about that little joy ride he took through the Dublin Super Mall last summer...  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: He drove through a mall?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: yep, with the Bentley too, he rode right through the mall, he caused havoc in the Staples, he crashed through the women's changing room in the Macy's, he nocked over bookcases in the Barnes and Nobles, he completely destroyed the Yankee's Candle store, he let all the animals free from the pet store...  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Nooo!!! don't tell them anymore!!!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: and he caused all this chaos because he was trying to run down a guy who had tried to hit up on Juliet in the parking lot.  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: hahahaha!! Did he finally run the guy over?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: no, the guy jumped into a dumster, Butler crashed the car into a brick wall and started attacking the man in the dumster, unfortunetly it was the dumster that was used by a baby day care center and he smelled like dirty dipers for weeks.  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: lol  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: Bwahahahahaha!!!!  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: didn't Butler get caught and sent off to jail?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: me and Butler are experts at covering our tracks, no evidence that could like Butler to that incident was erased thanks to me and my expertise with computers, I did, of course, get a movie of it for myself to use as a blackmailing subject  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Artemis somehow got everything blamed on that pervert who tried to touch Juliet in ways I didn't approve  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Juliet was mad at you though, because she apparently liked that guy  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: she was mad?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: uh huh  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: oh... well, she knows I don't allow her to date men like that  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: yes, but she resents it, she told me herself  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Oh really? When? I was under the impression she wasn't talking to you anymore ever since you embarrassed her by telling her newest boyfriend that I sing Beetle songs in the shower  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Well he wanted to know what the terrible noise was coming from one of the upstairs bathrooms, so I just told him  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: am I really that bad a singer?  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: I didn't know Butler knew how to sing  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: oh yeah, I forgot you were here  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: I was just sending that picture and the blackmailing information about Butler to the 12 o'clock news, everybody watches that, by Midnight tommarow everybody will no that Butler wears pink bunny suits and sings Beetles songs. hehehehe  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: and I was setting up my TV so it would tape the news show  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: NOOOO!!!!! Please!!! Not that!!!!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Yes! this is turning out even better than I thought it would!  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: I'll send you a copy of the news show, Arty  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: hey, where did Julius go?  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: he is probably having trouble with the TV his isn't very good with electronics  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: no actually... *mischievious grin*  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: okay, what did you do this time, Mud Boy?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: *innocent look* what's this? Are you accusing me of something?  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: yes we are, what did you do?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: I didn't do anything... except press a few keys on my keyboard...  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Artemis...  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Okay! Okay! I sent a little virus to Root's computer... it will make it so that no matter what you do a picture of Bulter in a bunny suit will always appear...  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: Artemis!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: You were the one who sent that first virus weren't you???  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: What virus?  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: you are really bad at playing dumb Arty  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: *sigh* it looks like I've been found out... yeah I sent that virus...  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: Hey! STOP CALLING ME ARTY!!!!!!!!!  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: No  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: :0  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: hehehe  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: uh oh, Julius is calling for me, you blamed it all on me you dirty Mud Boy??? :0  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: yep  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: ARRRGH!!! You just wait, once I sort it all out with Julius I'll get you!!!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: oh yeah?? well BRING IT ON!!!  
  
i_am_smarter_than_you: :p  
  
**i_am_smarter_than_you has left chat**  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: you better watch out Arty, Foaly gets really creative with his revenges  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: well, I am The All Powerfull Immortal God Artemis!!! He can't get me!!!  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: you mean the Greek one? That's a girl!!!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: No!! I am not the Greek god!!! Did I say Greek????  
  
the_big_guy_with_no_first_name: I gotta go, have to monitor Juliet and her boyfriend on the survielience cameras to make sure he doesn't try anything  
  
**the_big_guy_with_no_first_name has left chat**  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: does he always do that?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: yep, that's Butler for ya  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: I can imagine how poor Juliet feels  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: yah, so can I, since she takes out all her anger on ME  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: really?  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: uh huh, whenever she gets frusterated with something she hunts me down and starts using me as a practice target for pro wrestling moves  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: ouch  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: yah, ouch most definitely, she broke a couple of my ribs a while ago with her pile driver  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: freaky  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: feaky what??  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: we are all alone  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: so?  
  
firstfemalelepofficer: nevermind, gotta go Arty!  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: stop calling me Arty!  
  
**firstfemalelepofficer has left chat**  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: oh no, now I am all by myself  
  
deviousJ_thievious_Artemus: all alone...  
  
devious_thievious_Artemus: why do I have to be the last one to leave the chat?  
  
**devious_thievious_Artemus has left chat**  
  
Artemis signed off and turned off his computer, not knowing that he actually wasn't the last one to leave the chat.  
  
beetroot: Hello?  
  
beetroot: Hello? Anybody there?  
  
beetroot: Hey, Foaly got rid of the virus, everybody.  
  
beetroot: Hello?  
  
beetroot: Anybody?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Hehehehe... Next chapter is Foaly's revenge!!! Muahahahahahaha!!!! Don't forget to review! 


End file.
